Infinite
by ScarletParanoia2993
Summary: She looked at him with stars in her eyes. He barely looked at her at all. He's leaving and she pins her heart to her sleeve. Better yet? She gives it to him forever. (AU/OOC)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This isn't really fiction, it legitly happened to me a few days ago. Yes, we're just friends, but fuck me sideways if this wasn't one of the best moments of my life. This was written for him. And about my other stories, I will continue them when I feel like it.**

**Disclaimer: Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen, Madge Undersee and Gale Hawthorne are characters created and owned by Suzanne Collins, and I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of The Hunger Games (or The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky). (AU/OOC)**

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She stole a glance at his twinkling blue eyes across the table. Sometimes they would dart to her grey ones, seemingly staring into her soul. Every now and then, raucous laughter would burst from their table, earning speculative glances from the waiters. They raised their glasses in a toast, to the last years, to each person that was leaving their tight knit circle. And one of these people happened to be him. Her fingers shook as she checked her bag for the millionth time that day, checking if the letter and the CD were still there.

"I have to go," he announced, earning a gulp from her. By then her heart was steadily thrumming, her stomach fluttering.

"Give everyone a hug one last time before I give you your present," she said, wanting to delay this as long as she could, her heart breaking as he went from person to person. He saved her for last, wrapping her in his arms.

Then the tears came. She turned away just in time as the tears ran down her face, her heart shattering in her chest like glass. He was leaving, away from her, away from this friendship they had created.

It was now or never.

"Give it to him and make him leave," she ordered, thrusting her bag at her friends blindly, not wanting him to see her cry. Madge flew into her arms, comforting her while he took the letter and the mix-tape she made and left the restaurant. She wanted to sink to the ground as her legs felt dangerously close to giving in. She made it to the washroom in time to let out a loud cry.

"He hates me!" She whispered emptily. Her breaths came in pants and she tried her best to choke back her tears but they streamed down her face. Numerous friends surrounded her, telling her they were proud of her. She had finally told him how much in love she was with him.

She glanced outside the door and there Madge stood, her forehead pressed against her Gale's. They were never going to see each other again. Gale was leaving, just like him. She watched them sadly. Her thoughts flitted back to him as always. She was never going to revel in his warmth and kindness that she never returned. She cursed herself, hating herself more than ever at that moment. She stepped outside the quaint little bathroom, warily, thankful her tears had stoped. She hadn't admired the mural of old Italy as she had every time she came in there. Life didn't hold as much beauty as it had before.

In her eyes, he was everything beautiful.

"He's here," they whispered and before she knew it, he ran back into the restaurant to her and pulled her into his arms. The smell of his skin sent her into a sensory overload and her heart skipped a beat before she buried her face into his chest as the tears came, unstoppable.

"That was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me," he said, his eyes red. It was only until much later did she wonder if those were tears. She could never stand to see him cry.

"I'll miss you so much Peeta," she cried into his chest, her cheek against his heart. It sounded so perfect to her, and there was nothing else to hear in the world than the sound of his beautiful heart beating and her wracking sobs.

"Don't cry Katniss," he murmured, his hand rubbing her back trying to soothe her.

It was at this moment she realized that her heart was never shattered. He had it with him. Wherever he went, her heart went too. He had her - hook, line and sinker.

She couldn't bear to let go of him, but he enveloped her in his arms another time. She felt so safe there, like they could be in the middle of a shooting and he would save her. She was content for the first time in years - even if he didn't return her feelings it wouldn't matter. She stopped crying long enough to see him leave, taking a huge chunk of her with him. The farther he went, the more the gaping hole in her chest ached more. She stared into the camera, lost in the world as they huddled together for a picture.

It felt so wrong without him.

She knew watching him leave that day was the hardest thing she had ever done. But in the moments they had spent holding each other, she swore they were infinite.

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**A/N: Yes, I'm aware that I stole that last line from Perks, I haven't read it (I know, I know - kill me now) but I've heard of that quote and it seemed fitting. After this happened, I swear the next few days I couldn't even function properly without thinking of that and falling in love with him again. However - sigh - he'll never feel the same about me, because I'm me and he's just perfection. But hopefully we remain friends (:**

**PM me if you want to see the letter and the song list for the mix-tape (;**

**With much love,**

**ScarletParanoia2993**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Again, not fiction - but I can't help writing about this. Hope it made you feel all warm inside like it did me. :3**

**Song for this chapter - Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift & Ed Sheeran.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games trilogy, Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark and Madge Undersee. It's all the brainchild of the great Suzanne Collins. **

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The sun beat down on their backs and she suddenly grew a love for the trees that provided some amount of shade. The sweltering heat made her eyelids grow heavy but before she blinked she watched him hand the last of his money to a homeless woman with her child.

She smiled.

His kindness seemed to be infinite, and she was glad she knew someone like him. It didn't really matter if he didn't love her back the way she wanted – she would much rather bask in the warmth he exuded than not at all. There was a consuming sadness in her heart just looking at him laugh at the joke that Madge made. He didn't know how beautiful he was.

Her legs ached as they finally sat down at the little patisserie. As she bit into the decadent red velvet, memories hit her fast. She stole a glance at him as she always did, looking him in the eyes immediately made her go into a trance. She hated being weak that way. She gulped knowing that he was the only person that had such a hold on her.

It just wasn't fair. She knew that it wouldn't stop.

"So I know what tattoo I'm going to get," he said, sipping his drink.

"What?"

"My grandmother's name, across my heart."

She gasped.

That was the sweetest thing she had ever heard from anyone. There was more to this man than she thought and she wanted to break down all his barriers. She just wanted to know him more than she ever wanted to before. He didn't notice, but her eyes welled up. She blinked the tears away before she cursed herself for being such an emotional mess around him. They glanced at each other and she gave him a little smile, trying to tell him just how much she loved him with her eyes. It wasn't long before his blue eyes made her weak in the knees and she turned away.

But in the moments the three had spent laughing with each other, she swore they were infinite.

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**A/N: Have _you_ ever felt like you've loved a person for a thousand lifetimes? God knows my only wish is for him to find someone to love as much as I love him.**

**Love is selfless, not selfish.**

**Scarlet x**

**PS: ****I will _not_ be sending anyone the letter or the playlist because it's too personal, I hope you understand.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: A little dark, but it had to be written. Everything in this story is based on real life, so far at least. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games trilogy.**

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She stripped down to her underwear and stared at herself in the mirror. This, she knew, was the punishment she inflicted upon herself. She ran her fingers gingerly over the scars, knowing she would never go back there.

There was a lot no one knew about Katniss Everdeen.

Her thoughts flew to his previous conquest, thinking about how beautiful she was. How her poker straight hair seemed to shine in the sun. She ran her hands through her curly mane, hands shaking. Katniss thought about her having a summer fling in some tropical island. She thought about how heartbroken he would be if he found out. She saw red at the amount of anger she felt for this person.

She thought about how all his girlfriends had perfect hair, perfect bodies, perfect faces. And she expected nothing less from him, the master of perfection himself. It was just the way it was.

Her hand slowly reached towards the bathroom scissors on her counter.

_Stop._

She let them clatter to the floor.

"I will not spiral down like I did before," she whispered to her tearstained, disgustingly naked reflection. Admittedly, she would never be beautiful or deserving of him.

_Beautiful people only walk with beautiful ones, _Clove had whispered to her, playing games with her mind. Katniss shuddered at the truth of her words.

It was at this moment that Katniss realised that for the first time in two years, she was going to try falling out of love with him. She sank to the floor, heart thoroughly broken, tears streaming down her face and a little hopeful smile on her face. Her heart beat fast as the cold from the tiles seeped into her skin.

_Katniss Everdeen does not go down without a fight._

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**A/N: Don't worry, it's not over yet. **

**Yours Truly,**

**ScarletParanoia2993 xox**


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